She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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