i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
