Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize