You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
