your thong is hanging out like whoa
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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