You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
