Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
