So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
