i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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