She is in my trunk
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
