Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
