I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
