I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
