Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
