Sry I called you an 8
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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