For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
