Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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