Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
