Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize