He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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