So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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