So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
