How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
