just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
