Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
