I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
