woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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