I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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