I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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