he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
