Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am spending my child support on dildos
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
