It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
