I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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