Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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