you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
