my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I looked at my own cervix.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
