at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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