Do you still have your period?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
