it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
