Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
