8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I could make wine with my vomit
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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