a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
