You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
