Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
