it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
