Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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