Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
