Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
