it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
