You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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