Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
