My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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