glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
